Monday, November 28, 2005

1 Thing

That I wasn't hoping for on my Thanksgiving trip/vacation?

A blizzard.

We (are supposed to) leave for home tomorrow (Tuesday). We'll see if the roads are open in the morning.

O Lord, please watch over all travelers when the winds blow and the snow falls to cover pure ice. Amen.

Monday, November 21, 2005

10 Things

That I'm looking forward to about my upcoming Thanksgiving Vacation. We leave Tuesday for a Northern Destination that was once Home. We'll be gone a whole w-e-ek.

In no particular order ...

1. My Aunt-in-Law's Beans.

2. Pumpkin pie

3. Chocolate Covered Potato Chips
... Not all 10 are about food...

4. Seeing my nieces and nephew

5. Taking a nap

6. Shopping on the crazy, Day After Thanksgiving

7. The long drive. Seriously.

8. Taking Baby Boy swimming

9. Having a cold drink on a cold night in my in-laws hot tub ... and recognizing that it's not the most responsible thing, I promise not to be alone.

10. Seeing my 96-year old grandmother

Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Friday Five

The RevGalBlogPal Kiddie Lit Edition

1) Earliest book you remember (read to you or by you)
Hmmm... there are a few that come back to me, probably not earliest, but certainly favorites -- an alphabet book, "The Mouse Book," "Bread and Jam for Francis" and, um the 'A' volume of the World Book... yeah.

2) Picture Book you would like to climb into
This is a tough one -- I always wanted to actually be in the game CandyLand, as opposed to playing it. And, I was really intrigued by the treehouses in the Berenstein Bears series...

3) Favorite series of books (then or now)
Again, another tough one -- Big fan of Anne of Green Gables and the other series by LM Montgomery that I'm blanking on...

4) Character you would most like to meet
The parents from Bread and Jam for Francis...

5) Last childhood book you re-read (for yourself or to someone)
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hope

It's snowing here in this midwestern city that I'm beginning to call home (after some seven-going-on-eight years). And, while the bitter cold that has rattled doors and shattered glass the past few days is not my favorite, there's a sense that winter is coming. And with winter, Advent. Hope.

It's cold and I wear gloves now with cute scarves and a vintage coat from my grandmother. I rush from the car to the house with my child and rub his cheeks and laugh with him at the cold. And with the warmth of the house, Thanksgiving. Hope.

The days are shorter and the leaves are on the ground and my more responsible neighbors have cleaned their lawns and put out the hoods for their rose bushes. But my rose bush continues to bloom, right there in the front of the house. I know that I need to cover it soon, perhaps tonight, but for now there is the garish pink of a rose against the drab gray. And with that color, Remebrance. Hope.

My extended family will be together in a week or so to celebrate Thanksgiving in bits and pieces of turkey and beans and pie and I'll probably need more than a glass of good wine to get it all down. But four generations of love and dysfunction will break bread together. And with that communion, Grace. Hope.

I am reminded this season of the great blessings that I have -- home and health and family and love and friends and enough of it all to go around. And with it all, Hope.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Pie Meme

I love pie -- actually, I'd be more honest if I said that I love dessert and from there i'd have to say that I love breakfast as it can often be another excuse for dessert (see my post below re: nutella stuffed french toast).

I love meringue, but often don't like the pie that goes under it -- ie, lemon or the raisin cream that my mom seemed to make. Banana cream pie with meringue, that I can do.

Favorite pie? Probably would have to be a fresh strawberry-rhubarb pie ...

Pie that I liked that I wasn't expecting? Pecan pie that had been warmed -- served with coffee ice cream and hot fudge sauce.

Not a big fan of: pie crust -- I know that it can be well done, but it often stands in the way of enjoying a good pie filling.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

TIps o' the trade

It's been a crazy week and without all the boring details of evening meetings and review boards and and and I spent about an hour in the office this afternoon before I shut everything down and left.

I wasn't upset, I just realized that for my own sanity, I didn't need to be there -- that I had done enough for the day and that I would be back tonight. Walking away from the builidng was very freeing; I'm not always able to do that without feeling tremendous guilt, but today it worked. And it made me start to think about developing other coping techniques so that I don't get to the point of cracking.

How do you do it? What are your tips and tricks o' the trade of living a healthy and balanced life? I'm not looking for the well-thought out exercise routine or the devoutly followed devotional plan -- because i'll be honest, my life isn't there right now; I'm happy to make it out of the house in the morning without forgetting anything crucial (ie, my planner, milk for the baby, the baby himself).

I'd love to hear about the little things that make you think "Ahhhhhhh -- that's better" when you do them and when I hear about them they make me think, "Ah-ha! I can do that!"

I'll share some of mine in a future blog.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Update & Nutella

One of the very first posts that I had queried folks about working on Saturdays. I was in a fairly bitter place at that point -- having just returned from maternity leave and having an in-the-office expectation for Saturdays placed upon me.

Today is Saturday -- a rather dreary, weather-turning colder one at that -- and I'm in the office. And I'm the only one here. And I'm being productive -- finishing up little tasks that I'd put aside for this day, doing some file cleaning, some organizing, and I'm OK with it.

Partially, I'm realizing that not only was I feeling like cracking because I was never home, but also because I was never fully at work, either. Today I'm fully here -- the Baby Boy is at home and I'm able to be efficient and productive and not resentful toward anyone. It's a really, really good feeling.

Also helped by the fact that I have a specific ending time with a really great reward -- an afternoon brunch with friends at a favorite breakfast place that has Nutella-stuffed French Toast. Is is breakfast? Is it dessert? Do I care? It's FANTASTIC and it makes me smile.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Cracking

I spaced a breakfast catch-up with a parishioner this morning. Completely and totally didn't think about it until I heard the voicemail this afternoon -- and I feel really, really crappy about the whole thing. I mean, I was the one who set the appointment up. We had confirmed the other night. I was looking forward to it.
She'll be OK with it and we'll go forward and I won't feel so bad, but it's all compounded by the fact that Baby Boy was up 4 times last night (usually once, maybe twice), I'm sick, my dear husband is sicker, I didn't actually see my child awake for more than an hour yesterday (including morning getting-ready time) and I probably won't be home tonight before he goes to bed, either.
I hate to whine, and didn't even want to post this rant/rage/pity post because I don't want to appear weak -- I mean, I should be able to do it all, right? Be a mom and a wife and a pastor and a daughter and make travel plans for the holidays and do the laundry and clean the house, right? I know, as I type it, how ridiculous it sounds and untrue. My husband and I share a lot (when he's not sick) and the house won't fall down if it's not clean. But I become irritable and my expectations of what I'm supposed to be able to do go up when my plate becomes over-full.
I desperately want to say, "I'm not doing it." Whatever it might be. But I also know that's not in me -- really. I'm just trying to figure out how to cope, how to get organized enough so that my life is manageable again. I don't want to be sad when I look at my house. I want to be able to enjoy what I do and the people I love. I don't want to be the super-person, but I would like to be on top of things enough not to subsist on luna bars and funsize butterfingers and coffee.
And perhaps most of all, I don't want the people closest to me to know that I'm cracking around the edges.