Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Controlled Chaos

In no way am I going to proclaim that I have it all together. You don't have to read very far in my archives to know that I'm hanging on by a thread most days.... However, there's the strangest feeling that comes over me every December that I've been a pastor-type: the sense of controlled chaos.

Little things don't seem to bother me -- like the fact that everyone was late for our meeting on Monday, or only one person showed up for a meeting I called Sunday after worship, or even the bigger things, like the once-again three hour council meeting last night seem to slide away.

I know that it will all come crashing down again in January -- which for me is always far worse than December, because it's all about expectations. In December, everyone expects that I'm so busy that many things don't happen. But in January, when we're getting down to the details for the annual meeting and everyone else is gearing to go because they were so busy in December, then the world spins a little faster.

It could just be, also, that I'm lulled into some strange state of being as a result of the over-decorated stores that I frequent, and that this time of year I give some thought about how to show my appreciation for the staff, making me realize that I do really like (and even respect usually) the people with whom I work.

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