Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Here

Here is where I sit and make decisions about things I never knew needed decisions -- yellow pages ads and our involvement in programs. I take calls from people who need things and I'm able to help them -- writing checks and making referrals in the midst of writing sermons and lifting prayers.

Here is where I am, if only for the time being. As a pastor, I have a hard time living in the here and not thinking about the "what-next" when it comes to things like where I hang my hat. We have abundant space and sparse furnishings, but I think, "well, our next house might not be so big..." or "that would be a pain to move." We've moved so many times in the past eight years that our post-college, basement eclectic style hasn't really had a chance to evolve into something that feels like home.

Here is where I'm not always sure that I want to be, always being lured by the thought of what else is out there -- something better, bigger, smaller, closer to family or farther away, something else.

Here is living and that's what I need to do, embracing the dancing moments and the crying moments, the throw-stuff-at-the-wall moments and the rock back-and-forth moments. This is what I need to remember.

8 comments:

cheesehead said...

I'm "here" a lot.

(((pink shoes)))

Preacher Woman from Minnesota said...

Hi Pink Shoes! I'm reading your blog for the first time tonight. I've seen your name listed on several other RevGal's blogs. I see that we are both midwesterners and both ELCA pastors. I'm newer to the RevGals - just started my blog in the last few months. But I've been reading several blogs since Oct-Nov 2005 so I feel like I know several in the community. Just wanted to say hi - especially liked reading "HERE" -

Pink Shoes said...

Hey, MN PW! Welcome to my blog -- it's good to have another Lutheran around... we're few and far between, it seems! Thanks for commenting!
And, Cheesehead -- right back at ya!

"imagine the darkness in love with the light." said...

i can understand the "here" also.

RuthRE said...

Nice post, you've got a good handle on things sister.

Carolanne said...

I cope with the here but not so much with the "what's next". I think that's cause we have moved so much (my dh is a pastor) and I just want to put roots down and stop and enjoy the now.

Pink Shoes said...

It's a fine, delicate balance, carolanne -- and one that I'm not sure how well I handle most days!!
There are a lot of transitions looming for me and my family -- namely that both my congregation and my husband's congregation are going through pastoral transition. Woo hoo -- I alternate between wanting to dig my heels in and wanting to run away.

RC said...

here, here to that.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com