I'm trying these on today (or at least right now before I make a potentially icky phone call):
*I am really, really fantastic.
*My boots can kick some serious something, if needed.
*Have you noticed how cute I am?
*Yes, I am that smart.
*No, you can't take my brain, my wit, or my baptismal right as a child of GOD away from me with your nastiness. I checked.
*Did you listen to my sermon? Maybe you should have. It was really good. And I was thinking about you when I wrote it.
*These jeans make my a** look fabulous. And it's not just me who thinks so.
*I can laugh at any situation. Just give me time.
*Where's my tiara?
And perhaps my favorite:
*OK, it's not always about me. But it's most definitely not about you today. So, maybe it is about me.
With that, I'm dialing the phone.