Thoughts of the day

I need to charge more for non-member weddings.

We're planning a vacation. A tropical vacation. It's a long ways from now (more than a year) but I'm very, very excited. Given that we honeymooned in Canada, this will be delightful.

It's really warm outside, and that exhausts me.

We bottled the first batch of beer last night. My thoughts are now consumed with designing and printing labels for the "Hey, Honey...."

There's a fair amount of stuff I need to do before being away from the office next week. And before September. And before tonight, to be honest.

But all I want to do is go buy shoes. Which I might do after finishing the bulletin for draft purposes. So I should write the bulletin instead of blogging.

trying....

to post a whiny post about a stress-spot in my shoulder and it won't. post.

perhaps blogger has decided i'm too whiny.

i hate that.

Shoulder spot

I usually carry my stress in one spot. It's on the inside of my left shoulder. I discovered this tendency of mine while on internship as the spot would ache for about 24 hours as I held mine and what I perceived to be the collected stress of the congregation. Often I'd have lunch with two dear people after the last service and about mid-way through the meal the pain would subside and I'd breathe and be able to move a bit more freely.

Yeah. Healthy, I know.

The ache is back today. During that period in my life I could easily tell you exactly what things were sitting in that spot. Today it's a little fuzzier. A finished sermon (two hours before preaching) would help. The confidence that there's enough food for tonight's pot-luck would help. Some clarity about life in general (HA!) would help. And I guess by writing this, I'm hoping that whining about it on my blog will help!

Yeah. I'll see how that goes.

Friday Five: Weather

Sally shares for the Friday Five:
Here in the UK we are struggling with floods, other parts of the world have similar problems without the infrastructure to cope with it, still others are badly affected by drought.... My son Jon is in Melbourne Australia where apparently it has been snowing ( yes it is winter but still!).... With crazy weather in mind I bring you this weeks Friday 5...


1. Have you experienced living through an extreme weather event- what was it and how did you cope?
I lived in a place where it was below zero (F) for over 100 hours straight, snowed well over 100 inches of snow that same winter, and then the river flooded devastatingly. Because it wasn't something that happened overnight, but over the course of a couple of months, the exhaustion was a bit more drawn out. I spent many, many hours sandbagging.

2. How important is it that we wake up to issues such as global warming?
Very. And yet it seems like such a huge issue that it's difficult for me to begin thinking about it and my role in it.

3. The Christian message needs to include stewardship of the earths resources agree/ disagree?
Agree.

And because it is summer- on a brighter note....

4. What is your favourite season and why?
Oh, that's tough. I love them all, or at least parts of them.
Winter for the frost patterns and the sounds of ice cracking and the brilliant light of sun reflected from snow.
Spring for the fresh new life poking from the ground, and the squish of soggy ground.
Summer for the warmth and the array of colors.
Fall for the crisp crunch of leaves, and the brightness of air-cooled cheeks.

5. Describe your perfect vacation weather....
Warm during the days -- warm enough to swim and play outside. Cooler in the evenings, with a gentle breeze.

Lists. Check.

For awhile now I've kept a list of things to do on a piece of standard paper, rather than the expensive planner system that I never wanted to get messy. When I'm using wedding bulletin covers from 1974 that no one before me thought to recycle, I write more, cross things out, have more space. And I can still recycle them.
All of this is not to say that I've actually gotten more done. I've simply written more down, which I know is a difference. Occasionally -- every couple of days or so -- I'll realize I've done some things on the list and need to add more, so I'll take a new piece of paper and transfer the un-done to the new.
One of the things I know about myself is that making phone calls is never really a priority for me. I'll know that I need to call someone to follow-up, and won't, and won't, and won't. Sometimes it's ok, other times it bites me in the proverbial patooty, and other times I actually make the call.
Yesterday I was about to make a new list of to-dos. And I resolved to not transfer any of the phone calls I'd been shifting from list to list. For the next chunk of time (hour? hour and a half?), I placed calls. Sometimes I left a message, other times I reached someone and it was good. Some of the calls lasted a few minutes, and others were longer and filled with more than ministry, which was good, causing laughter to ring from my office.
I know I'm not reformed -- that there will be more days than not when I'll be overwhelmed and paralyzed by the sight of names to call on my to-do list, but for now it's clear.

Sweet Spots

Seeing the sunflowers that I so haphazardly planted actually growing.

Hearing my two-year old ask, as he crawls into our bed in the morning, "Is it breakfast time?"

The blossoms on my other scattered seeds.

Dinner with friends.

New babies in my life.

Feeling well enough to want coffee again.

Finishing a project.

Mailing a package.

Inscribing a book to a beloved child of God.

Showing the two-year old a watermelon at the store and having him ask, "Um, is it a plum?" And then he giggled.

Grilling.

A full house at worship yesterday.

Being done with VBS. Wah-hoo.

Lunch on the deck today.

Returned

I have returned from vacation. I am a little tanner in the way that I become, which is to say not much. I have returned, a little bit rested, which is to say that I am rested from not thinking much about this life that I lead in this place, and exhausted from intensely being someplace else.
I have returned from the land of water and cold and hot and family -- a place that is written within me in ways I'm still discovering, and in ways that amaze me. How can I remember such intricate details of my past simply by driving on a road, hearing a bottle-rocket, seeing a fawn, stepping over mud, peeing in the woods?

Things I Dig

I've been tagged for the Five Things I Dig About Jesus meme.... And, even though I'm on vacation, my folks have upgraded to high speed internet since the last time I was home (complete with a new computer!!).

1. He spoke in parables that no one could understand, that we still wrestle with today.
2. On the flip side, he used language that was common and spoke to people where they were.
3. He challenged the world.
4. He spoke peace, and inspires us to do the same.
5. He liked to eat and drink.

You know the drill.... Cheers.

Research?

Dear Research Company,

Shockingly, you left a message last night. I liked that.

Shockingly, you called back tonight at shortly before 10:00 PM. That, I didn't like so much.

While your website indicates otherwise, I can't imagine that anyone out there would like to take your survey after finishing an evening routine after 9 pm. Certainly few of us at neary 10:00. Short of emergencies and the occasional friend or family, no one calls us this late. I sound old, I know, but it's true.

Really, a research call at nearly 10. I still can't believe it.

No, I won't answer your questions. And, no, at this point I don't want to tell you a more convenient time to call. You're lucky I was as polite as I was.

I remain,
Forever indebted to caller ID.

Neighborly

We moved into our house in December, and as the weather has warmed and we've spent more time outside, neighbors have stopped and introduced themselves. We're on a waving basis with most of them, and a conversational first-name with others. I struggle with living as an adult in a neighborhood -- my desire to be anonymous, mixed with the question of how folks will respond to what we do, paired with really wanting to be good neighbors and part of the community. Some of our parishioners live in the area, and are friends with folks on the block, so many already knew all about us.

The woman who lives next door is maybe in her 70s, a widow with familiy nearby who are involved, and spunky and quirky. She loves our dog, appreciates the clean-up we've done to the side of our property that she sees, and will occasionally come over if she see me out.

Tonight was one of those warm, summery nights. I was away the first part of the week at camp, and now my colleague-in-everything is taking the second half of the week. After dinner (eggs for me, crackers for the boy), we started out on a walk ("a stroller 'venture"), and headed past her house along one of our regular routes. She called hello to us from the window, and then asked if she could join us on our walk, and she did, pointing out homes where she knew stories and calling out to folks who were outside. "My daughter dated their son," she'd say. Or, "my grandson stood up in their daughter's wedding."

While part of me had wanted to walk alone, chattering about to my son, her joining us was perfect.

8 Random Things About Me

I have been tagged by 1-4 Grace to do this -- so here goes
Okay, first the rules:
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3.At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My amendments to the rules:
I love, love, love to be tagged. It hearkens back to some weird junior high feeling of inclusion. But when it comes right down to the return of tagging -- I can't bring myself to either choose or, well, go through the work of tagging others. So.... as with all of these -- if you want to play, I'd love to read your randomness -- just let me know in the comments. And clearly I think that blogger should incorporate an em-dash into their auto-ness.

8 Random things about me:
1. I've recently rediscovered that I really like corn-nuts. And remembered that I've been to the place where they make corn-nuts. Or at least there was a very large outlet/factory store of corn-nuts that we used as a diversion during a rain delay at a golf tournament.
2. I really love a good pedicure, but the manicure is nearly completely wasted on me. I can't read while it's happening, I ruin it within days if not moments of getting it, and I can never decide on color for the fingers.
3. I collected stickers as a kid. I had one that was a numbered limited edition that I remember thinking was really going to mean something someday.
4. I am so much more likely to do something if you don't tell me to do it.
5. I am immensely proud of my pathetic gardening attempts this season. These include simply scattering seeds over a bed of dirt and thinking they might grow. It has actually worked with, ahem, scattered results.
6. I take pride in my father's dry sense of humor and the fact that he's passed it along to me. He was a science teacher until he retired and I found him witty even in high school when I was outwardly embarassed and yet bursting with pride at the same time.
7. I can have boundless energy.
8. I never thought that I'd end up where I am today.

Safe Passage

He sits in a lawn chair when the weather gets warm, bright vest on, stop sign twirling at his feet. He stands and greets the kids who come near him, nodding and questioning. And then he walks slowly into the intersection, his hand out behind him until the way is safe when he beckons to the children on scooters, foot, the occasional bicycle. Sometimes a parent waits for that crossing with the family dog, waving and calling, "Have a good day," before returning home or continuing the walk.

He nodded his thanks to me one day, as I stopped farther than most and waited what he must have perceived to be patiently. Some days I might wave, an anonymous passer-by thankful for his role in the life of the community.

On cold days, much of our winter, he waits for the rush in his small blue car that has seen better days, a cup of coffee steaming the windshield, and I imagine talk radio filling the air. His smile is the same, but there's less dawdling, more hurrying, and the parents wave quickly, bundled more tightly.

School's nearly out for the summer. Late the other day, a group of children stood on the sidewalk, calling to him with pen and yearbook, waiting for the beckoning hand to leave an impression in their book.

Moment

I noticed the curve of the sidewalk and thought it seemed like a cheerful curve, a happy curve, and at the same time rebuffed myself for anthropomorphing (is that the right word? used correctly?) the sidewalk. I noticed the curve of the sidewalk as I stepped off of it to let the man walk past me, step-step shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. His jacket -- thin, dark blue, indicated his allegiance to an organization -- hung from his shoulders and swayed a bit as he step-step shuffled his way toward the building.
The grass where I stepped to make more room was soft, cushiony, and my thoughts jumped to sod and grass seed and rain gauges and errands I was running and the pending rain that was starting to fall, lightly and without conviction. The rain, like the sidewalk, not especially in need of the human attributes I was assigning, but they were working for me.
I stepped back onto the sidewalk, the man having passed, and I paused in my mind to be thrilled at sharing the building behind me with old men, immigrant families, students. My canvas bag bounced against my hip, my self-pride at having remembered it tempered only by its necessity to leave the house.
My car was warm when I threw the bag on the side seat, knocking my lunch out of its wrapper, the remains of the energy bar (my second of the day, a sad substitute for a rain check lunch) crumbling as I picked it up. The heat had softened it, warmed the cherries, made it vaguely reminiscent of pie -- if I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.

Vacation, Celebration, Desperation

I started a post a few days ago that simply read: It's been so long.... I almost forgot my password.

It didn't post because an error message appeared indicating that the operating system had unexpectedly shut-down. This never happens. It started back up, but it spooked me. And, as I had been tired already, it didn't seem worth it to start all over again -- especially for such a pithy post.

We've taken a vacation and had some fun. Our son turned two. He now thinks that they'll sing happy birthday to him every time we go to a baseball game. My parents visited. People came over. I made an amazing train cake. I've now invested enough money in supplies that he'll have a train cake every year, ad nauseum. If he gets married, it might be the groom's cake.

I've been experiencing these pangs of something -- jealousy? sadness? loss? -- at not being at the Festival of Homiletics. This is definitely one of those to-do things on my list. Maybe next year, when it's in Minnesota (or so the rumors go....).

Much of Wednesday was spent on a ladder in the sanctuary, preparing for the weekend. A few desperate moments when we thought, is this really going to work. It did. It does. People who have already seen it are stunned. I get giddy every time I see walk past.

I've missed writing, these days (weeks?) that I've not. The weather has been warm and all I want to do is play in the dirt. I've done that, some, and it's at times like that when I dream of not doing what I do.

Friday Five

Once again Reverendmother has provided the following Friday Five:
There are two types of people in the world, morning people and night owls. Or Red Sox fans and Yankees fans. Or boxers and briefs. Or people who divide the world into two types of people and those who don't. Let your preferences be known here. And if you're feeling verbose, defend your choices!

1. Mac? (woo-hoo!) or PC? (boo!)
Why yes, the Friday Five author reserves the right to editorialize!
We had been a PC family for a long time, but our recent (ok, it's been almost 2 years) purchase was a Mac. We still use PCs at the office, but I love the Mac.

2. Pizza: Chicago style luscious hearty goodness, or New York floppy and flaccid?
Um.... neither. Thin crust, but crunchy.

3. Brownies/fudge containing nuts:
a) Good. I like the variation in texture.
b) An abomination unto the Lord. The nuts take up valuable chocolate space.

Thou shalt NOT put nuts in my brownies.

4. Do you hang your toilet paper so that the "tail" hangs flush with the wall, or over the top of the roll like normal people do?
Thank goodness I'm normal. At least on this one.

5. Toothpaste: Do you squeeze the tube wantonly in the middle, or squeeze from the bottom and flatten as you go just like the tube instructs?
I'll wantonly squeeze for awhile, but eventually I'll flatten and push.

Bonus:
Olives: green or black?
A friend once contended that each relationship has one person who liked olives and one who didn't. There are great exceptions to this, obviously, but I saw his wisdom. Of course he might have been telling me that we'd never be in a relationship as we sat together eating our olives. I will eat them both, but I've come to see the superiority of the green olive -- particularly stuffed with blue cheese or garlic and marinated in a martini.

Gadgets and Gizmos, Good Grief!

My new hair dryer arrived. I ordered it from friendly jungle online site because I could get free shipping and knew I wouldn't get to the store before it arrived. I did have a spare, of course, so not all was lost in the meantime.
This new one is pretty fabulous. And, it's a lot more hair dryer than I need. My child now points to it and says, "Mommy's newwwww hair dryer. Mommy dry-a hair." He then points to my hair, looks, and says, "Mommy all done dry-a hair."
If only this dryer could double as a printer for my office, as I'm about to throw that said gadget out the window. It's made me nothing but crabby-crabby-crabby all afternoon. Crabby-crabby-crabby, I tell you.

Things I'm doing

* Wishing I had more time in a day
* Wanting to do all of the improvements to the yard/house/garage today. OK, I'd settle for this summer/year, but that's not going to happen, either.
* Being amazed that the Kidlet is almost two. TWO.
* Looking forward to vacation. Even though the friend we'll see questioned our destination as being vacation-worthy. It has a zoo, we won't see our families, we'll have a hotel room, and it's not home. Sounds like vacation to me.
* Already not wanting to be at any of the evening obligations that I have this week.
* Recognizing (again) some of my neurotic tendencies about clothes, my body, shopping, money, food, relationships....
* Admiring how the animals in our own zoo are getting along these days.
* Trying to get caught up after a couple of weeks of the Kidlet being in and out of daycare. Nothing major, but a missed/shared day here and there puts us all more in maintenance mode than actually feeling caught up or proactive. Someday, right?
* Coming up with a vision for our lives beyond this place.
* Struggling with that overwhelmed feeling that can be oh-so-paralyzing.

Frantic, Frazzled, Frizzied

Part of my morning routine is drying my hair. It's getting longer, as my funtastic stylist is guiding me through a growing-out stage: we're nearly all one-length and below the chin -- longer than it's been in quite some time. But I have a lot of hair -- it's thick and while it's easy to style, it certainly has a flip on one side and not the other. Fantastic Stylist and I go back and forth about directional drying and time management, and I acknowledge that short of a lot of layers, it's not going to be a quick dry. Such are the dramas of my life.

This morning, after my dear, nearly-two-how-did-that-happen boy-child awoke early-early-early (for him at least, I'll admit it was only about 6:20), and the husband took him to daycare leaving me to get ready in peace, I set about that aforementioned part of my morning routine. And then the hair dryer cut out.

And then it quit completely -- shooting sparks from the handle that connects to the cord. Sparks. SPARKS. Causing me to cuss and jump and throw the dryer into the hallway and cuss some more. Here I go to the rest of the world -- less frantic, but still slightly frazzled and frizzied, with a bathroom smelling slightly of burnt plastic.

Overheard...

Or simply said to me over the past weeks.

While I was approaching a table holding nametags:
"Oooo -- PastorDH's wife must be coming. There's her nametag."
"That's me!"
Since we've started working together, I'm rarely referred to as PastorDH's wife. Can't say that I've missed it entirely, but that is how these women knew me, I guess.

From an adult on the morning of Good Friday during the craft portion of our children's worship:
"You look so thin without your robe on."

Absolutely nothing to say to that in response.

Just not

I'm here, and we're all healthy.

For some reason, I'm just not writing.

I'll be back.